Maybe, Possibly

I love my friends, no matter how embarrassing they are, they’re just literally the best people ever. I died so many times tonight, I laughed until I cried and literally rolled on the floor laughing. Talking about random stupid shit and reliving random elementary school memories, definitely the pick me up I needed.

<3

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First thing my mom says to me when I get home.

“Now that you’re done with finals, you can go practice piano because you have so much free time now!”

All I want is a break, is that too much to ask for?

I really want this week to just be over. I know my grades are ass and no matter how long I study, there really isn’t going to be some magical event that’s going to bring my grades up. I have just sorta decided to deal with the consequences of not working hard enough this semester and just let it be. So what if I have a 3.0 GPA? It doesn’t mean I’m stupid or anything, it just shows that I didn’t work hard enough the past few months. I know I have the potential to do well, I’m better than a 3.0, I know I am. 

I wish it was second semester already. I wish I had a clean slate before me so I can start over and just work my ass off, cause I will. There will be a change come second semester, I promise. 

It sucks how even though I actually do try hard  to do well, like actually study my ass off, I still never get the results I want. It makes me so frustrated I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know what to do anymore in general to be honest. 

All I really do know is that I want to just stay home the rest of the week. Getting out of this rut is ridiculously hard and everything is just too overwhelming at the moment. cries.